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Steve Halley, LSCSW
The Battering Intervention Facilitator’s Tool Box
Welcome to our blog. These posts share some of the many tried and true tools, skills, and techniques that the Family Peace Initiative has found to be valuable through the years.
We hope that this Facilitator's Tool Box will become a resource for you in your own quest to be the best facilitator you can be. We will be adding new blog posts monthly. Enjoy!
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Transformational Conversations with the Funnel
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- Written by: Steve Halley
It is Weird to Not Feel
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- Written by: Steve Halley
Kids are like Scientists: Digging into Pro-abuse Beliefs in the River of Cruelty
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- Written by: Steve Halley
Addressing Pro-Abuse Beliefs
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- Written by: Steve Halley
Motive of Those Who Batter in Your Group Room
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- Written by: Steve Halley
Self-disclosure in Battering Intervention
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- Written by: Steve Halley
Helping Those Who Batter to Feel Safe
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- Written by: Steve Halley
The Most Important Question In Battering Intervention
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- Written by: Steve Halley
The Check-in: Accountability from the Beginning
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- Written by: Steve Halley
2 Myths about Trauma-focused Battering Intervention
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- Written by: Steve Halley
Variations on the Control Log in Battering Intervention
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- Written by: Steve Halley
One of th
e best tools for helping people examine their cruel behavior in relationships is the Control Log. In various forms the Control Log has been around for a long time. I think it may have been used in the very first battering intervention class that I ever attended, approaching 30 years ago. This tool is most often used within a group, examining one individual’s situation where they had used violence or cruelty. (Check out our video on Control Log uses here)
For those who are not familiar with the Control Log, it is in the form of a worksheet, It has sections intended to look at a participant’s (1) Actions, (2) Intentions, (3) Beliefs,(4) Minimization, denial, and blame, (5) Impacts on themselves and their partner/kids, (6) What nonviolent choice could have been made. The Family Peace Initiative added sections for surface feelings (the emotions that other people saw); Adverse Feelings (The emotions hiding beneath the surface feelings); and the Shadow Message (a core belief).
Domestic Violence Intervention and Tele-video Groups
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- Written by: Steve Halley
Over the past month, the Family Peace Initiative underwent a huge transformation, switching all of our services to an online format. I will briefly share a bit of what has been learned as we jumped into the water, headfirst, believing we must do this to provide needed services and ultimately protect victims during this pandemic. With courts shutting down and many services shuttering, we knew we might be the ONLY service with an opportunity to keep contact with those who batter. Ultimately, we have arrived on the other side of a transformation that would have never occurred without the existence of the coronavirus. Here are some of our findings and general thoughts. I hope you find them helpful.
Are You Colluding?
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- Written by: Steve Halley
I am sure you have seen collusion in your group. Here is an example. As Stan arrives for his Monday evening battering intervention class he is clearly agitated. Class begins with a “check-in”. When it is Stan’s turn, he states his name and reports that he is feeling angry because “my ex-wife is a bitch”. Before he can say anything else, another group member chimes in, “Oh, you got one of those, too.” Soon, in almost orchestrated fashion, some members of the group are talking about their ex-wives, bitches, and how the system is stacked against men in general. The conversation can take on a life of its own as group members commiserate with each other. Depending on the strength of other members, they may be hard-pressed to offer a different view.
Domestic Violence Beyond the Soundbite
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- Written by: Steve Halley
I was excited to hear another Malcolm Gladwell book was out. No matter if you read The Tipping Point, or The Outliers, or David and Goliath, or his new book, Talking to Strangers, you are bound to learn more about a subject, and see things in a different light. I always find his insights intriguing and provocative. It reminds me of Paul Harvey’s “The Rest of the Story”. I think of this often when I listen to a domestic violence professional explain on a Facebook post or other media that domestic violence is caused by “male entitlement” or “male privilege”. Before they have even completed the sentence, I cringe: it is a good soundbite, but the statement is missing “the rest of the story”.
Leading by Example in Battering Intervention
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- Written by: Steve Halley
In November, I attended the 24th Annual BISC-MI conference in Ann Arbor, Michigan. It is always a treat to spend three days learning, sharing and connecting with others dedicated to intervene effectively with those who batter. I left the conference with new ideas, validation, and a renewed sense of “we are all in this together”. There is a wide range of approaches to working with those who batter, which the conference showcased nicely. Within this wide range, there were some important common themes. One of these themes, repeated multiple times throughout the three days, is the need for facilitators of programs to “do their own work”. This reminded me of Alice Miller when she said,
“In order to become whole we must try, in a long process, to discover our own personal truth, a truth that may cause pain before giving us a new sphere of freedom. If we choose instead to content ourselves with intellectual “wisdom,” we will remain in the sphere of illusion and self-deception.”
- “The Only One” Working With Incarcerated Women
- The Folly of "Fixing" Those Who Batter
- Anger Management: Barking up the Wrong Tree
- Having Fun in Battering Intervention Classes
- Getting past the “Cover Story” in Battering Intervention
- Addressing Battering Behavior and Childhood Trauma
- Battering is a Choice, But...
- Let's Stop Sending DV Victims to Battering Intervention Programs
- The Roots of Entitlement in Domestic Violence
- Moving Beyond Accountability for Those Who Batter